An Adult's Conversation, seen from a Child's Point of View

I found this entertaining article on The New Yorker while reading FARK earlier today. The author relates what kids might imagine grown-ups are talking about during dinner parties...Gave me a good chuckle - hope you enjoy.

I. A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as Imagined at the Kids’ Table

MOM: Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy.
DAD: O.K.
GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry.
DAD: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex.
UNCLE: I’m having sex right now.
DAD: We all are.
MOM: Let’s talk about which kid I like the best.
DAD: (laughing) You know, but you won’t tell.
MOM: If they ask me again, I might tell.
FRIEND FROM WORK: Hey, guess what! My voice is pretty loud!
DAD: (laughing) There are actual monsters in the world, but when my kids ask I pretend like there aren’t.
MOM: I’m angry! I’m angry all of a sudden!
DAD: I’m angry, too! We’re angry at each other!
MOM: Now everything is fine.
DAD: We just saw the PG-13 movie. It was so good.
MOM: There was a big sex.
FRIEND FROM WORK: I am the loudest! I am the loudest!
(Everybody laughs.)
MOM: I had a lot of wine, and now I’m crazy!
GRANDFATHER: Hey, do you guys know what God looks like?
ALL: Yes.
GRANDFATHER: Don’t tell the kids.

-Simon Rich

Chick-Fil-A cows???

HAHAHAHA!

This has to be read to believed. I Just thought this was pretty darned funny.

Thanks Neal Boortz for finding this gem...

Chicken eating cow?

Dangerous Wild Animals Roaming the streets...

In my old townhouse complex of all places...

Dangerous Packs of Wild Dogs

Yes, these beasties have been eluding capture and are roaming free in Covered Bridge, the neghborhood I had my townhouse in back in 2000-2001 over in Marietta. Funny thing is, I remember a lady on my street that had two really yippy beasts that looked very much like the ones in these pics. hmmm I wonder....

Just goes to prove the feral nature of all animals, especially this species which has a long history of roaming the plains of Central Mongolia in wild packs, hunting without mercy. Now, instead of camels, they hunt fried eggs.

Oh and it just gets better - here's an article from todays AJC Metro Section:

You GO BEASTS!!!

Will they ever be captured? Will they continue to hold Marietta in the grip of cold pure terror forever?!?!

Tune in to find out...

*woof*

NERDS!

Just got this article from my bro. Seems that nerd-dom is rampant in Rhode Island as well..even so far as to get the ACLU involved.

Chicks Dig Claymores

Yeah. Top that, Mr. Cool Guy Shell Necklace Starting Quarterback of the football team!

Planetary Demotion!

I just read that they decided to demote Pluto from planetary status!

EGADS!

Ah - to be a fly on the wall during that 'combative' debate amongst the astronomers. I bet much galatial smack talk was laid down. They even mocked the former planet with a stuffed animal and an umbrella. Whooosh - them Astronomers and their sense of humor, boy.

I can't wait for the ACLU to jump in and claim 'Size discrimination' on this one. Ba dump dump.

On another note...I feel so betrayed that I have always been taught there are 9 planets in the solar system. Oh what to do with all those foam ball models of the solar system out there put together by elementary school kids just trying to conform to the ages old nine-planet standard (imposed by the MAN who is beholden to Pluto interests)!

Will they all fail now?

Will landfills explode because of excessive little foam ball Plutos suddenly flooding the garbage trucks?

I fear the end is nigh...

Freaky Animation

Check this out - I don't know exactly what it means or if it's supposed to mean anything at all. Either way it's cool.

Kinda reminds me of Civ or Age of Empires or something...

Enjoy

Thanks to Boortz

Blazin Hazen...

Just in case you ever felt a need to express yourself as a poor disadvantaged middle class whiteboy through rap...well, someone's already beat you to the punch.

This video is all that and a side of slaw.

WARNING: Video contains excessive Mullet-tude and gratuitous chicken-chesting.

Calling all Geographers!

You really can sell ANYTHING on E-Bay nowadays. Check this out, the interstate overlay is PRICELESS. (GIS, Tortilla style)

Georgia Tortilla Chip

Thanks to Boortz for the link...

I wonder with my knowledge of geography if I can sell a piece of bread as a 'Colorado shaped slice of bread'?

Wonders never cease...

A Good Children's book

Check out this book written by Strongbad. It's very educational for the little ones. I think we may get a copy for our BabyGirl.

Click ME!

A Tale of Cell Phone Use

You ever wonder about those people that talk really loud on their cell phones while waiting in line or in public? Well here's a little story that cracked me up when I read it. This is from a web forum that I frequent relating to a computer game that I play on-line.

Don't ask. You all should know by now that I'm a big geek. But if you really want to know what a lich is, I'll tell you all about it.

Amusing Cell Phone Anecdote.

We're off to Vegas for a family vacation, so I'll check in with you on the flip side.

P.S. For the record, I probably would not have reacted the way this fellow did in his situation, but I don't really know what I would have done.

Blast from the past

Found this video while I was surfing on the web. I hit play and was suddenly thrown back into the good ol' days of gaming on the Nintendo.

Enjoy.

Don't forget to save the Princess from the Mushroom King!

*ACK! I Can't get that song out of my head!!!*

Howdy, Yall

Hey everyone, just checking in. I'm in the midst of a transition here at work since I've accepted a new job with another company and we are really excited about it. I'll get you some more details later on it, but I just couldn't ignore the fact that I've been neglecting my Blog for this long.

So here's a link to enjoy while I go back to work and finish up this stuff. Yuck.

Live Action D&D Nerds

If you've never heard of LARPing (you may have seen a bit in my last D&D related video post) people really DO this. in the woods. for like four days at a time. here in Georgia and in other places near you. go figure.

the Beer Machine

now after 5000 years of wasting time brewing beer the old fashioned way, you can make it at home in just 5 to 7 days!

As seen on TV!
Courtesy of Coach Thugg

I mean everyone knows you can make beer in just 5 to seven days with a plastic keg and a plastic bag of beer mix.

*smacks self in head*

now why didn't I think of that! I wonder if it comes with its own Ginsu blade?

From the Looney Department

So what's the story with this Hugo Chavez guy in Venezuela? Is he trying to take away the 'Most Deluded and Paranaoic Person' Award away from Cynthia al-McKinney?

Check this out!

Here's a paragraph that makes perfect sense. If you're on Venezuelan coke.

"We have detected with intelligence reports plans of a supposed invasion, one that would never happen. But we have to denounce it," Chavez told British Broadcasting Corp. radio.

I couldn't even think of writing this stuff it's so rich! but Wait! it gets better!

"It is an imperialist government, one that says it fights against terrorism but protects it. The U.S. throws stones to Latin America," Chavez said.

'Throws Stones'? Boy do I want some of what he's smoking. This wouldn't be so dang funny if he was the leader of an actual country with an actual government and military.

Oh well, I guess we'd better invade them anyways to get more oil supply because this Iraq thing only brought our gas prices down to just 3 dollars a gallon. Maybe we can get it even further down.... muwahHAHAHAHA!!

Own your piece of the Caribbean

Wow. Check out this link and you can own your own island!

I reckon I'd better start saving....

*dreams*

Fuzzy Death...

Turn your Hamster into a Fighting Machine!

*chuckle*

Source: http://www.livejournal.com/users/jwz/543178.html

Halloween is coming

I found this link while GIS-ing for 'Special Ed'.

Someone is having a big Halloween party and they offer a humorous list of costume ideas. Check it out - maybe a slow download because of the background music and number of pictures...but worth the wait.

oh my favorite?? Fat Kid.

Ohhh Lil' Brudder!

Never heard of a SBemail?

Never experienced the true hilarity that is Strong Bad?

Check it out, and enjoy.

Lil' Brudder Makes me Cry