College Football Programs as South Park characters

Found this while surfing the blogosphere today. I got a kick out of it - you should too, if you're a College football and South Park fan, like I am.

Clemson = the Marklars?....classic...

Cheers to our Worthy Rivals

Just kidding. How about this little good piece of exposure for some classy kids up in Clemson, SC?

Kinda Stupid, If you ask me...

Theres more pics here.

Not that College Kids aren't known for their brains when it comes to paryting, but hey, I had to get in a shout out for Clemson, cuz you know I'm like that - bein' a Gamecock and all. Heh heh.

Oh - and whats up with the 40oz taped to your hands? Is that some gangsta thing Im missin' nowadays?

Thoughts on a Tuesday Morning...

As you all may know, the Gamecocks beat Florida this past Saturday for the first time since 1939. I am slightly happy (understatement). I never thought this day would come - we have beaten Tennessee and Florida in the same year, and darn near beat Georgia to boot. Maybe next year. Either way, we are assured of getting a decent bowl game this year and an even better one when we beat the hated Clumpson Tiggers this Saturday. BOOO TIGGERS!

I saw a banner someone hung on an overpass over Georgia 400 on the way into work this morning, it said 'Who would Jesus torture?'. I don't know exactly what this means, but I suppose the person that hung it up there was referring to the treatment of Islamic Terrorist murderers by the U.S. Government in the current War on Terror. The sign makes a good point, and basically encapsulates this war raging, Jesus wouldn't torture anyone, and we all know from Christian teachings that we should love thy neighbor and be kind and all that.

I guess the real question to be asked would be 'Who would Muhammad torture?' and then we would have our answer. How about a banner reading 'Who would Muhammad Suicide Bomb?', or 'Who would Muhammad behead?', these would more accurately portray the state of current world events.

Needless to say I don't really know if the author of that banner was for or against our treatment of Islamic Radical Terrorists (murderers)or not (actually I do), but I can guess that the author is against anything the U.S. does to protect themselves, and is blind to the duality inherent in the statement that they hung over a captive audience of commuters on their way to work.

Good job. Definitely makes me realize how right we are in this war.

Oh and I bet the banner smells like patchoulli.

unBOWLievable!

That's right, the Gamecocks managed to defeat the Arkansas Razorbacks 14-10 on Saturday making the Cocks 6-3 and bowl eligible. I can't believe after that horrendous showing versus Auburn that I would be saying this today, but it's true. I didn't even think we'd win another game, just ask my bro.

Now if we can pull off a win against Florida and/or Clumpson, we may possibly go to the Peach Bowl. That's what I'm hoping for so we can go see them play right here in Atlanta!

The thing is, we aren't that good, and we're going to a bowl game in Spurrier's first year. I can't wait until he recruits some more talent, we could be unstoppable!

Spur 'em Spurrier!!!!

16-15 GameCOCKS!

How bout them Gamecocks!?!

For the first time in 13 Years, the South Carolina Gamecocks Beat the Tennersee Volunteeerssss.

Hell yes!

Now in case you were wondering, that was the game I was first hooked on Gamecock and SEC football. In 1992 I was a first year Graduate student at South Carolina. I didnt know much about SEC and USC football, I just came there from Big Ten country. And LO...I was at a game on a crisp fall afternoon when the Gamecocks upset the mighty Volunteers in Columbia. The crowd was INSANE. Cups were flying through the air. HIllbillies wearing orange overalls were MOCKED. It was a group emotion I have never experienced since.

"Spurrier, wearing glasses and not his trademark visor, improved his record against Tennessee to 10-5. It was his first visit to Neyland Stadium since 2000, a 27-23 win by the Gators after a controversial touchdown catch. "

``I've finally got a new line -- God is smiling on the Gamecocks. That was my line after close wins at Florida,'' he said.

-- The new Coach, Spurrier...

13 Years later and we beat them again. I had no clue how long it would be.

This is sweet.

Cocks are BOWLBOUND!

Is Fall finally here?

Must be because I had my annual version of Curley-Aerator SMACKDOWN WWE!

This past weekend was the first weekend that actually felt like fall. Low 70's and yesterday it was gray and drizzly all day with a high in the uper 60's. I almost could smell the fireplaces burning... Not only that, but I spent all day yesterday preparing the yard for aeration. My neighbor and I went to Lowe's at 8 AM to rent an aerator and they were all out. We didn't end up getting one until about 1:30 or so, and by that time I had just started scalping the lawn and raking up the thatch. Ouch. By the time it was my turn to aerate, the drizzle faucet was on full, I was wet, the lawn was soggy, and the behemoth of an aerator sunk down good and deep into the soil. If you have no idea what aerating is, its basically using an oversized lawnmower/tiller thingy with spikes under it to run over your lawn while the spikes pull up little 5 inch cores out of your lawn. This allows oxygen and other nutrients to get into your soil through these holes. Oh did I mention that in order to do this effectively, the aerator has to be HEAVY?? Cripes. Turning it is a feat in itself. I got maybe 30 yards of grass aerated before the behemoth just stopped moving - I looked down and saw the drive chain lying on the grass, snapped in half. Nice.

So I stood there in the drizzly rain all wet with a 200+ pound machine sinking into my lawn with no drive chain at 4:30 in the afternoon. I was a happy camper. Not. We took it back to the rental center and I'll be finishing the lawn tonight, if they have another aerator on hand when I get there, that is. Then I can happily apply the lime and grass seed, all so the lawn will be green next spring.

The things we do for a pretty lawn. *sigh*.

Well at least I got a chance to brew a stout on Saturday evening, oh and the Gamecocks won a game. So I guess it wasn't too bad of a weekend. :)

Random Friday Thoughts

- Getting glass in your foot really hurts. If at all possible avoid doing so, because trust me, you will be mega-gimpy for a few days until you have to see a surgeon to get it pulled out.

- Will the Gamecocks rebound and beat Troy University on Saturday after the thumping they received from Bama last weekend? Does anyone besides myself care?

- Rita is bearing down on Texas and will hit it hard. New Orleans is flooding again as I type this. Our gas prices will be affected by another huge hurricane. Is someone upstairs trying to tell us something?? I'm just asking....

- I have determined that Natural Lite Ice in a can is horrible. It's like drinking water with alcohol added to fool you into liking it. Oh I just bought it to grill beer can chicken with, I'm still a beer snob.

- After winning two presidential elections, people still call our President an idiot. Doesn't say much towards his competition or the people that say that about him in the first place. It has to take SOMETHING in the brain department to accomplish something like becoming the chief executive and Commander in Chief in a constitutional republic.

- My fantasy football team won laast weekend. YAY! Wonder if I'll make it two in a row? I'm playing my buddy Renato's wife, and she's been talking smack. You go girl (but not this weekend)!

- Best wishes and godspeed to my good friend Renato who has shipped to Iraq to serve our country. We will miss him horribly, but are extremely proud of what he is going to accomplish with his and his family's sacrifice. I plan on attending his welcome home party next year and toasting with a nice cold one. He is a man of true honor and duty, and for that we are all thankful.

- Dang, what does one guy gotta do to get some comments on his Blog? Advertise free beer?

- Good friend of mine yesterday at lunch told me when I asked him if he read my blog that he doesn't like to read them because its usually just a bunch of ranting about stuff. I don't do that do I??? *coy look*

The Gamecocks Reprezent

Using my best gangsta rap voice, the Fighting Gamecocks went to Athens last weekend to reprezent! Follow up to my last blog entry about the Atlanta area media and national media thinking that USC had no shot at winning last Saturday's game, I am happy to say that even though we lost to those ugly Dawgs, it wouldn't have been so had our kicker made a PAT and a FG that he missed. It was REAL close.

Ah well, a loss is a loss, but the Gamecocks looked really good against the #9 team in the country and I think we're going to have a good season after all. Next year UGA better be prepared, because we ain't losin to them again for a while.

Oh and by the way, the media sure has been quiet about how great UGA is this week. Wonder why....hmmmm.... *grin*

Football Gripe

I just got back from making my lunch in the breakroom in my office, and every day there is a copy of the local newspaper in there to read. I, being a red blooded American male, of course read the sports section. This weekend is the big matchup between my Beloved South Carolina Gamecocks, and the Georgia Bulldogs. Of course the Dawgs are the local favorite seeing as how I live in Georgia and all, but every year it's the same old thing with the local media, and it drives me crazy when the proof just isn't there. Let me take an example and try to explain to you what I'm talking about:

"Lou Holtz, former football coach and still 10 percent humanoid, with the rest meat-byproducts, recently predicted South Carolina would upset Georgia.

I find this amusing, though not because Holtz doesn’t even have his own Friday column, and therefore his projections aren’t considered as scientific absolutes, like, say, the theory of relativity and Weekend Predictions. Rather, this is funny because in his 174 years of coaching, Holtz never once predicted a victory for his own team, even when he knew he was coming off a really good illegal offseason."

And more:

Spurrier is not with Florida.

With South Carolina, is he.

With gout, he might as well be.

The Dogs are favored by 18 points over South Carolina. If the line goes any higher, the SEC mandates they play at least one series blindfolded.

- Jeff Schultz, Atlanta Journal Constitution editorial

I hear the local talk radio hosts chuckle when someone mentions that SC has some talent on their team. They joke about Lou Holtz' NCAA Violations. They talk about how this UGA victory will be a 'hollow' one over Spurrier. The 'Mayhem in the AM' guys this morning had Lou Holtz on the show interviewing him and after they were done they commented 'Lou seems to actually believe that USC can upset Georgia!' followed by much laughter. This is repeated ad nauseam in print and TV and radio 'analyses'.

Granted, last week UGA dismantled a Boise State team that went undefeated last season, and USC didn't look its sharpest against UCF. But this is the same USC program that was beating UGA 16-0 at halftime last year. The year before UGA whomped us. The year before that, UGA escaped with a Pollack fumble/interception thing in the end zone and won by a field goal. It's been a close game, year in and year out.

I guess my biggest beef is that even though we beat Georgia, and recently barely lost to them, the media still laughs as though USC aint got an ice cube's chance. The funny thing about this is, most of the actual UGA fans I know, give USC some props for past battles well fought and some even have a bit of fear about Spurrier taking the reins there. So where's the disconnect between the media and the fans?

That's cool (pun intended), I personally don't think we will pull this one off, but damn, I will laugh soooo hard if we beat UGA, AGAIN. And I look forward to reading the post mortems containing lines like 'how could such a superior team lose to a bunch of untalented hacks from South Carolina?' (I've seen it before...)

College Football '05 Kickoff

Last night the Spurrier era finally began at South Carolina. I watched every minute of the game to analyze every move and play we ran. First off I gotta say we WON!!! and that's cause for celebration. However, we really didn't play well in the second half and it showed. The following are some notes about things I noticed about the 2005 version of the Fighting Gamecocks:

1)Blake Mitchell and the Spurrier offense looks good. I was totally surprised by how well he threw the ball and that our receivers made some great catches and some great blocks. This part of the game right now is our strong point.

2)Our Offensive line looks atrocious. Wow, 32 yards rushing the whole game? Against an 0-11 team? Blake spent some time getting hit hard too, we HAVE to get some boys who will open holes for our running backs, because it just ain't happenin' right now.

3)Our defense is small. All night our defense got pushed around by that 'vaunted' Central Florida offensive line. They were poppin' 5-7 yard runs almost at will on us, and when they didn't do that, they had two WRs that were eating our defensive backs alive. What the??? This was supposed to be our strong point coming into this season, and so far it looks like we're lining up 10 defensive backs and one 300 pound defensive lineman on the field. Boy I hope we improve because it could get ugly against a real offense (see UGA, UF, UT ad nauseam).

4)Spurrier is the Anti-Holtz. He runs plays that make sense and work. He plays like he wants to win, not to prove some point. He makes our QB look great by teaching him where to throw the ball and let the receivers make plays. He doesn't force something that isn't working, and he actually adjusts game plans to suit the situation. Gee imagine that. I am very happy he is at Carolina and brings a coaching scheme that I think will work and work well once we get some more talent around the ball.

At this point USC has a ways to go, first order of business it seems is to recruit some big uglies for the O and D lines. We were just getting whipped out there by a mid-conference team. The Offense will improve, I can just feel it and see it. Unfortunately the Gamecocks won't be able to outscore many folks until we stop them, and that leaves us with the Defense. We better get some size and talent there or its going to be a long year.

Next up, UGA and the Ugly Dawgs. They have yet to live up to their hype with a big game against Boise State tomorrow. We will see what happens there. I will say that if their Offensive line is as good as advertised, then the Gamecock defense will be eaten alive by their running attack. Coach Thompson, you'd better readjust!

*gulp* Georgia, here we come!!!

Thoughts on Mortality and Sickness

Ugh.

I came back from San Diego with a sunburn and a sore throat. The sore throat changed into a brief head cold that seemed to go away over the weekend. Then Wednesday afternoon my voice started getting hoarse and by the time I got home from work, I couldn't talk. I basically was making odd hoarse raspy noises that vaguely sounded like the English language, or a frog choking on a freshly caught fly (how's that for simile?), depends on your angle of hearing it I guess. Oh and my throat hurt. I had to call in sick on Thursday and half day Friday because of this 'thing' that invaded my body.

What's my point? I have a point, really I do. You just don't realize how important your voice is until you lose it. I could not do my work and I work with computers most of the day when I wouldn't think I would have to be able to speak. It threw me out of my normal 'comfort zone' and into a realm of the unknown where I had to communicate using hand signals mixed with whispers. Digital communication can only do so much, but face to face is still where we as a species make and break relationships. Now I have an idea of what it would be like to be mute, and it isn't fun. I have since recovered, but the experience will last with me for a while.

Hopefully I won't have spread it to my wife and baby girl. We might have to learn American Sign Language then. Or get a big whiteboard with some dry erase markers.

Don't think I'm getting waaaay too deep here, I mean it's almost football season and I'll have plenty to pontificate upon then that some may deem shallow.

Random Thoughts...

Hmm since a presentation I was supposed to give today was cancelled, I suddenly have a moment of free time to download (or is it upload?)a couple things to my blog.

- APC's Blog is getting serious traffic, she's just about caught up to me in hits. Dang, I just knew our baby girl was irresistible! Everyone wants to see her pictures :)

- I don't get all the fuss over the Karl Rove story - I understand it, I just dont get all the fuss. You'd think the media would have more on their mind than drilling the White House Press Secretary two days in a row with questions about 'Will Pres. Bush fire Karl Rove?' (See here and here) when nothing has been proven yet. Must be a slow news day, which is a good thing. But they sure do want Rove's head on a pike, don't they?

- Ate some good German food last night for dinner on our Wednesday Date night. I had the sausage platter with Weisswurst, Bratwurst, sauerkraut, german potato salad and spaetzle. Man I love spaetzle. Spaetzle with that really danged tasty German brown gravy. And of course washed it all down with a half liter mug of Paulaner..yummy hefeweizen goodness. Prosit!

- The London Bombing thing seems to be some big media cover up. I just this morning read on Boortz's blog that the four killers were Muslims. Now why did it take a week before the bombers identities were finally revealed as such? I had my initial thoughts that this may be the case, and shame on me for thinking that, but hey, if the shoe fits.... All I've heard is that it could be the IRA, it's 'home-grown' terrorists, etc, etc. When all along I knew with most people out there, that aren't in denial (or trying to protect the 'Religion of Peace'TM), who and what was behind this atrocity. People better wise up or lots of us are gonna get killed.

- Well just damn. The USC athletic department released a joint report with the NCAA stating that they in fact violated 10 NCAA regulations since 2001 under Lou Holtz. I don't care how 'trivial' the violations were, there were still violations. Lou, what's the story man? I suddenly lost lots of respect for him all in one morning. Guilty as charged, USC is, and I cannot defend those actions nor make excuses for them. I will however continue to pull like crazy for the Garnet and Black. Hopefully USC can take its knocks and move on and play some (clean) ball.

Post Fireworks blues..

Arggghhh...

After a nice long holiday weekend at the lakehouse in Tennessee, it's back to work for the MapGeek. Yuck.

Had a good 4th of July weekend, fishing and playing on the lake, ate lots of BBQ and determined that Apple Pie may be the quintessential American dessert, but in the South it's definitely peach pie.

Will have pics from the weekend up tomorrow.

Answers to last weeks geo-quiz (thanks for your participation, Seannibal - the rest of you - ptthhhhtttt):
1) Mt. Whitney, California (el. 14,491 ft above MSL)
2) Hibernia - Ireland
Dacia - Romania
Gallia - France
Hispania - Spain (and Portugal)

Oh and thanks for all the responses to my football query! /Sarcasm

May actually go to the Wild Wing for wings and trivia tomorrow - w00t!!

FOOTBALL!

Cocks Win!

2001 South Carolina Outback Bowl Victory

w00t!

It's about a month until we start our fantasy football season draft and then of course the beginning of football season - both college and NFL. The SETTL (South East Trash Talking League) is already starting its plans for how to perform the draft, etc. and I am sure that this upcoming year will be another fantastic failure for the StumpGrinderzz, except for dominating the loser Coach THUGG. But hey, hopefully my #1 pick will stay healthy all season.

In a shameless effort get web traffic going more on this blog, I am going to pose a question to yall...do you care about this American passion known as football? and if so, relate some of your fave teams, players or times spent involved in this great American pastime.

Of course - as you shall soon learn - my football passion, or masochism, revolves around the South Carolina Gamecocks. If the Cocks are playing, I'm either at the game, watching it on TV, or listening to it on the internet - usually cussing up a storm because we traditionally stink so much. But one thing I'll never forget was in 1992 when we beat Tennessee in Columbia. What an exciting moment that was when we stopped Travis Henry from scoring a two pointer against us to take the lead. Another one was in 1993 when Brandon Bennett went over the top on a fourth and goal to beat Georgia in Athens. I was in Athens for that with some of my UGA friends, man what a blast.

What's your story?